you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
