end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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