Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
