He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
