He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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