I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Let's get the cat blown out
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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