Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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