omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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