I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
