I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
