im about as happy as oj after his trial
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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