I accidentally burped into my bong.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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