I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I pour the whiskey from now on
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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