It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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