You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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