I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Shame - the story of my life.
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