i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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