Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
