Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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