im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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