69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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