You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Randomize
