her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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