I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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