I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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