shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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