note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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