Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
