i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Is it because I queefed?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
