I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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