i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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