I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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