This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Sober January is a disaster.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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