so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
