i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
