in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
