He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
