I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
