why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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