I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize