I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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