I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
