yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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