The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
