i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
