i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
