i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
