shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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