therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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