After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I don't deserve a penis
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
