Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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