I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize