I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
