things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
