people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I don't deserve a penis
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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