That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize