Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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