His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
