So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
