so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
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someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
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Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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