Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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