he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
