We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I think your dad took our porno
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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