I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize