I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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