sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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