I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
