Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
