He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
