Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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