Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
