just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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