I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You've changed since you got that strap on
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
