I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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