I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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