I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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