just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
