It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
