Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize